The bible reads, “Thou shalt not steal.”
The Qur'an reads, “As to the thief (man
or woman) let their hands be cut off, retaliation for what they did, a
punishment from Allah.”
The sign at Jerry’s Meat Emporium reads, “Steal from
me, and I’ll _____ your sister.”
Stealing is understood, by just about every culture
on the planet, as the wrong thing to do. There are harsh sentences for those
who steal. In some cases, States have allowed citizens to use deadly force to
keep their possessions from being taken. Alarm companies make millions of
dollars annually by giving people the peace of mind that someone cares about
their stuff getting stolen. Stealing is a great way to make people feel badly.
I think there needs to be an asterisk place at the
end of the above statements. “Thou shalt not steal” should include the caveat: does not apply to office supplies.
Webster’s defines stealing as, “to take the property
of another wrongfully…” The Texas Penal Code defines theft as “…unlawfully
appropriates property with intent to deprive the owner of property.” However,
when it comes to office supplies, our attitudes shy away from this definition.
If you steal your neighbor’s lawnmower you’re a thief. If you steal your
neighbor’s pen, then you’re still a neighbor.
Stealing office supplies is a lot like cheating on a diet:
everyone does it, yet no-one wants to talk about it or admit it. I don’t think
people place a whole lot of value in office supplies. Regardless, they must be
worth something. Otherwise, Staples and Office Depot loss prevention officers
wouldn’t tackle you and beat you senseless for trying to purloin Post-It notes.
Try calling the police to make a report about a stolen
paperclip and you’ll find yourself being the comedic relief at the next
Christmas banquet.
Pens are like the Chevy Silverado of the office supply
world. They are getting “jacked” all of the time. You can tell if a place has a
high pen theft rate by the type of object used to keep the pen on the premises.
I once used a pen in a gas station that was cable locked to a cinder block. That
wasn’t nearly as bad as the transmission “pumpkin” that was attached to the
bathroom key!
Still, it would be tough to get a jury of twelve people to send someone to jail for this.
Are there any real consequences for stealing office supplies?
Who knows?
Still, it would be tough to get a jury of twelve people to send someone to jail for this.
Are there any real consequences for stealing office supplies?
Who knows?
But, I’m sure there is a small section in Hell reserved
especially for those with no hands and a stapler in their pocket.
1 comment:
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