unionization.

I received the above note from my son, Juvenile Unit One, who was obviously upset with my oppressive demand that he wear pants. The weather was cold outside and I was only looking out for his best interest while also proactively keeping child protective services from having to do any extra work on my account. I'm good like that.
Needless to say, I was shocked.
A strike? Who does this kid think he is? Norma Rae? I had no idea that he had joined a union. I also knew that he didn't know the state of Texas is a right-to-work state which makes me an at-will parent. Still, a work stoppage meant that pets wouldn't get fed, vegetables would go uneaten, and little nubbin' teeth would grow fuzz from neglect. As the CEO, CFO, and ASS of the Corley Family, LLC., I had to act.
I made a compromise: he would wear pants and I wouldn't kill him.
Even a child knows the power, impact, and necessity of making a stand to correct the wrongs of the world. In his mind this note was a binding, legal document in full force and effect... and I had been served. Of course, this is the same kid that laps up salsa straight from the bowl like a puppy.

babysitting.

Whether it's a family member, friend, or complete stranger, the need to look after the safety and well being of an underdeveloped human being will be thrust upon you. Should you find yourself in this situation remember the cardinal rule of babysitting:

Don't KILL the child.

Sadly, the news reports are cluttered with stories of negligent caregivers whose actions meant doom for those in their care. If you plan ahead you can avoid many of the pitfalls that arise when babysitting.

For example, the word "NO" is the easiest and most effective way to avoid babysitting. In fact, the very same word can be used to avoid many different types of situations from giving people rides to staying out of time share programs.

Children are like gremlins. You mustn't get them wet, expose them to direct sunlight, and never feed them after midnight.

Adhering to this simple principle should make babysitting a breeze. Of course, if all else fails, there's plenty of day laborers who are ready, willing, and able. Good luck!